(M.J.E. Spirit / Tue., 1 Nov., 1994)

Spirit Dialogues

Explorations of Spirit
by Michael Edwards

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Tuesday, 1 November, 1994

      Michael: Hullo, Bivalia; I'm back again, although I don't quite know why.

      Bivalia:[a] Good evening to you, too, Michael; and it doesn't matter whether or not you know why. You want to be with me; and that is sufficient.
      I notice that you seem to be channelling me more and more often recently. You have each channelling from me in a separate word-processing file, each of which has a name consisting of 8 digits, specifying the year, month, and date the channelling took place. A simple look at these names in ascending order shows that you began in 1990, resumed in 1994, during which year you began by channelling only once every two months or so, then working up to 2 or more sessions within a single week. This increased frequency has to mean something, surely.

      Michael: I suppose it could well do.

      Bivalia: You are stepping up your vibrations a lot by doing these channellings. You got quite high at times, especially during the long 27-page job on the 15th of October, didn't you? Only so could you say, round about page 12, that you would have to stop soon because you were tired and your fingers were sore from typing, yet continue right on, almost continuously right up to the 27th page (plus a 3-page postscript), simply going on from the sheer momentum of thoughts that came through. Truly you had much help in your channelling that night; and other nights too, but I think that session was special somehow, as I think you do too.

      Michael: Yes, I think you're right. I've also noticed, the last couple of times, when I pause before starting typing to call on God and a number of Masters, that I seem to get muscle twitches almost instantly, which then stop when I start typing. Could that be caused by the energy that I'm receiving from those I'm calling upon?

      Bivalia: I think it could be. Your body is still not yet quite used to receiving this sudden energy.

      Michael: Well, I hope it does get used to it. It's the same sort of thing that happens at Ra Leah's during a channelling when the Master concerned starts us on a guided meditation. It can be quite bad, enough to jerk my whole body, and I don't like it much, and it rather puts me off the whole idea of meditation.

      Bivalia: It will pass in time; but all the time, your vibrations are increasing. You are improving your situation all the time by channelling me, talking to the Masters, and by attending the channellings.

      Michael: I hope so; but I must admit I don't always understand what the Masters are saying, but I seem to keep going all the same. I seem to be hooked.

      Bivalia: Good. I think someone, maybe Ra Leah herself, said to you, didn't they, that the words are there merely to keep us entertained whilst we soak up the vibrations, which are the really important part?

      Michael: Yes, I think she did once say something to that effect a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, I've been going since March, and I haven't missed a single Friday, and have insisted on going even on a couple of occasions when it really was rather inconvenient.

      Bivalia: The Masters are very pleased with your steadfast attendance, and so am I. We all thank you for your contribution to those evenings, and we assure you you are doing much good work there, and in between too, however much you may be unaware of that work. But one day you will become more aware of it.

      Michael: That would be nice, and I suppose that would really hook me irrevocably.

      Bivalia: I suspect you're irrevocably hooked anyway. Weekly attendance for nearly 8 months without missing a day is not to be sniffed at.

      Michael: Well, I guess it's company, at least, and I do tend to have a very lonely life.

      Bivalia: That's right, explain it all away. We all know how your mind works.

      Michael: I'm going to Ra Leah's tomorrow for another session with Sananda. Ra Leah told me a few days ago that Serapis Bey also wants to join us. On her way home from the T---- [b] weekend (which I didn't go to), she called in on G., who channelled Serapis Bey; and because I'd told Ra Leah that last week I dreamed about Serapis Bey twice in quick succession, she asked him about this, both privately, then through G. She was told that Serapis Bey is working on my emotional body, although exactly what that means I haven't been yet told. I suppose I must have picked this up in the dreams.

      Bivalia: I would say so.

      Michael: I remember nothing of one dream, except that there had been a sense of his presence somehow, as if I could feel his personality somehow. In the other, I seem to remember passing him in a corridor, and for some reason we didn't have time to stop, but as we passed I just shared a joke with him. I remember nothing of any of the few words that passed between us, but there was just a sense that we were on quite familiar, friendly terms.

      Bivalia: This is so.

      Michael: It's strange, actually. I think I first heard of him at the Crea workshop, just heard a mention of his name from someone there, plus the fact that he apparently had an even fiercer reputation than El Morya for strictness; you know, people made jokes about both of them cracking their whip of discipline, really working you hard, and all that. This didn't sound terribly inviting, actually, but when El Morya channelled at the Crea workshop, he seemed quite okay, not fierce at all. He was almost a pussy-cat after what I had heard people say about him. Definite and strong, perhaps, but that seems all right.
      When I first heard that Serapis Bey was apparently even fiercer still, this almost intrigued me; I had never heard him channel at that point, and even now, I have heard little channelling from him, so he was a mysterious figure in a way. But I must say he seemed quite all right when he channelled through Ra Leah some weeks ago. Powerful, but quite approachable; and he seemed quite pleased with my progress; so I think I'm feeling closer to him now than before. I may make jokes about putting a thick book in my underpants when he's due to come (an old trick of schoolboys about to be caned) [c], but it's only a joke, and I feel quite okay about him channelling (and El Morya too), and am not in the least scared of asking them questions or making comments.

      Bivalia: Of course. They may have a definiteness of manner that provokes this fierce reputation (which is mostly joking, anyway), but of course they are full of love, and are glad you feel free to approach them when you feel the need of their help. Don't worry; you have no need to fear their whip of discipline.

      Michael: That's good; but I'm afraid I'm not very good at self-discipline.

      Bivalia: They are more understanding of that, and of why, than you may think. But that is one thing they are here to help you with. Don't worry about it.

      Michael: I'm not; although I try to be open to the Masters, and want to cooperate with them, to some extent I do have the attitude that they can take me as they find me, it that doesn't sound too cheeky.

      Bivalia: It doesn't at all; that is quite a good way to think, as long as it doesn't make you become don't-carish, which I don't think is a problem you need to worry about.

      Michael: I wonder whether Ra Leah meant that tomorrow Serapis Bey would channel words, or whether she meant he would simply be there working with us, but leaving the talking to Sananda.

      Bivalia: I suppose you will find out in a little over 12 hours.

      Michael: I suppose so. One of the dreams about Serapis Bey happened the same night as the dream about the M. family I discussed with you a few days ago, but for some reason I didn't mention it. I suppose I got sidetracked by the bit about the M. family, and forgot to mention it.

      Bivalia: I think Serapis Bey will forgive you - this time at least.

      Michael: Thank you.

      Bivalia: Just joking, just joking. You will be glad to know we do have a sense of humour, and a sense of fun, in the higher realms.
      Well, do you have any interesting news for me?

      Michael: No, not really. That's why I said at the beginning that I didn't know why I was starting this session.
      Yesterday, I visited Mum and Dad, stayed the night (as has been the usual pattern while they live so far away in North Croydon), and today, Melbourne Cup Day, we went to Peter's and Annamarie's for a barbecue. (Peter's my elder brother, and Annamarie is his wife.) Janet S., my cousin's wife, was there too, and it was nice to see her. Richard wasn't there, because they recently separated; but I'm glad we're not going to lose touch with Janet, because she's a nice person.
      When Richard and Janet migrated to Australia from England some years ago, I think I felt a bit nervous about meeting Janet, because I'd never met her before, and I thought I wouldn't know what to say to her. I'm often a bit uneasy about meeting strangers, but I needn't have worried: Janet is the sort of person whom you can meet, speak with for 5 minutes, and just have that familiar feeling with as if you've known her all your life.

      Bivalia: Yes, she is a lovely person, isn't she?

      Michael: She's very easy to talk to.

      Bivalia: Well, I hope you had an enjoyable time with your family.

      Michael: I guess so. And I did something really radical, too. They all put a dollar or two on a horse for the Melbourne Cup race, and somehow I was talked into doing the same, something I've never done before.

      Bivalia: Oooh, how dare you! You sinner, you! 127,327 years in hellfire and brimstone for that, at the very least!...
      How much did you win?

      Michael: Not a brass razoo. I'm down a dollar. None of us won a thing.
      Having decided to go into this, in my usual fashion I started doing it properly, asking questions about odds and all that, and Mum said, "You don't worry about the odds." When I said that wasn't rational, she said, "Of course it isn't rational"; she obviously had a very light-hearted attitude to the whole thing - she backed a horse with an injured leg because she felt sorry for it and thought it deserved to win (although I assume the wound was sufficiently healed for it to be deemed not to impair the horse's performance). With odds of 20 to 1 (which meant it wasn't considered to have a damn chance of winning), she said, "Those are the sort of odds I like".
      I don't suppose I was too serious about the odds, either, but I'm the sort of person who tends to go into things like that.

      Bivalia: And how did you come to do such a radical thing as to bet on a horse?

      Michael: Oh, they were talking about having a flutter and going up to the T.A.B., and they asked me whether I wanted to. I said "no" at first, but they seemed to say things like "Come on, just once a year", in a joking sort of way, and I just sort of laughed and went along with it. I could afford to lose a dollar, and while I think gambling can be foolish, I don't take a moral high ground on it, so I saw nothing wrong with doing it. It just seemed easier than arguing why I don't gamble. It's difficult to say; it just seemed the appropriate thing to do in that situation, and I don't claim gambling is immoral anyway, just foolish if overdone, and perhaps pointless most of the time.

      Bivalia: You are becoming more open and flexible, my friend, and this is good. Not that I advocate gambling (or total abstention from gambling either, for that matter), but the point is that you are getting better at using your intuition and deciding what is appropriate for a given situation, instead of blindly following inflexible rules and principles, which do not always take account of particular situations.
      While the laws and moral principles that are laid down for humanity as a whole may have to be firm, and may not be able to afford to take account of special cases, when it comes to you yourself, you are now sufficiently evolved to be able to make exceptions to principles you usually hold and yet ensure that in such departure you do not do anything inappropriate that might hurt others or yourself.
      You were able to do this, because you knew that you were not even in the slightest danger of becoming an addicted gambler, and you were able to see that in that situation joining in would enable you to feel more fellowship with your family, with whom you were spending the day anyway. You were able to see that in that situation, such fellowship could be more important than inflexible dedication to a principle of abstaining from gambling, and you were able to do that because you knew that one dollar at most was at stake, which you decided you could chance without any trouble.
      It may surprise you, but I am able to see this incident as a good indication about the spiritual progress you are making. You may be glad to know that the Masters you talk with agree with me on this.

      Michael: I didn't for one moment think they were condemning what I did.

      Bivalia: Of course not. Total abstention from gambling is probably, for most people, vastly preferable to uncontrolled devotion to gambling, but there can be a middle ground, and you were able to find your own middle ground there without any trouble. A devotion to discovering what is most appropriate for your Higher Self in a given situation is much more important than a blind and rigid devotion to any fixed principle, however right that principle might be in general.

      Michael: I suppose so. Robert and Katherine put a bet on horses too (or their parents did on their behalf), and they were most upset indeed when they didn't win. Robert's horse in particular was way ahead in the first half of the race (which we watched on television), which I think increased his disappointment when that horse fell behind. He was quite tearful for some time after that. And Katherine was a bit tearful, too. When Peter, Mum, and probably almost everyone else said to them, "We didn't win either", or "If you place a bet you must be prepared to lose", they were not in the least receptive to little homilies like this.

      Bivalia: They are still young, and things get to you more easily when you are young. But I'm sure they will have forgotten about it by the same time tomorrow, if not much sooner. It will not help them develop an unhealthy degree of interest in gambling, at least.

      Michael: I suppose not. Well, like I said, I don't quite know why I started this session, but I don't think I have much more to say, and because I'm due at Ra Leah's tomorrow at 1 p.m., I don't want to be late going to bed tonight, either.

      Bivalia: You don't have to make excuses, and you don't have to think you aren't being serious enough with me, either. In case you haven't guessed yet, I can be quite light-hearted at times, and enjoy a good joke just as much as you do. It matters not in the least if a session is occasionally relatively light; it's probably quite good for both of us to do that sometimes. And you don't need to think you have a quota of pages to fill in a session. It might be an interesting exercise one day to see how short a session you can do without being entirely empty of content. Perhaps one day you might do only one page and yet say something you wanted to share, at least some little thing. Perhaps you might one day have a one-paragraph session just to share some little fugitive thought with me.

      Michael: Well, perhaps, but not tonight. I'm actually rather tired, and want to go to bed soon. I don't think I got quite enough sleep last night.

      Bivalia: Perhaps you might like to come back after your session with Sananda and Serapis Bey, if you want to discuss it with me.

      Michael: Maybe; but I can't guarantee anything in advance. Anyway, let's not dilly-dally, stringing out the farewells for ever. I think I'll leave it now, and say thank you and good-night.

      Bivalia: Thank you, and good-night, then.


[a] Tuesday, 26 March, 2002 - "Bivalia:":
      See the first
note at the end of the dialogue for Monday, 13 June, 1994, for the meaning of the name "Bivalia", and why I adopted it in these dialogues as the name for my Higher Self. [Back]

[b] Monday, 27 August, 2001 - "... the T---- weekend...":
      "T----" represents the name of a mystical teacher who was at this time giving talks and seminars in the New-Age arena. These dialogue pages have recently been discovered and publicly listed by the Google search engine, and I thought it best to remove details about certain individuals which may identify them, even though I don't think I've said anything even faintly defamatory or embarrassing about anyone. [

[c] Monday, 5 November, 2001 - "... putting a thick book in my underpants when he's due to come (an old trick of schoolboys about to be caned)...":
      I have to wonder about this: I used to hear about this when I was at school (and when caning was a far more common punishment than nowadays, when it tends to be seen as child abuse), but I wonder if it was one of those myths that went around in schools more than a reality. Surely a cane, when falling on a miscreant schoolboy's backside, would make a quite different sound if there was a book under the clothing, and surely it would feel different to the master doing the caning, too - and of course he would then make the boy remove the book - and probably give an extra stroke or two as further punishment for trying to evade the original punishment. [

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