(M.J.E. Spirit / Sat., 16 Dec., 2000)

Spirit Dialogues

Explorations of Spirit
by Michael Edwards

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Saturday, 16 December, 2000

      Michael: Hallo, my Higher Self. [a]

      Higher Self: Hallo, Michael. Nice to see you again so soon.

      Michael: Well, it's been a week. I suppose it's a coincidence, since there's no special reason why I might come to you for a dialogue on Saturday evenings.
      It feels funny to say "Hallo, my Higher Self". But I can't think of anything better; "Bivalia" doesn't feel right any more, and I can't think of another name that feels more right.

      Higher Self: It matters not. You should just use the best thing that is available to you in the here and now, and needn't worry about what might come in the future that's better. It is your intentions that count, not the external form.

      Michael: Well, today's Beethoven's birthday, of course. I can't let that go by without a mention. He's 230 today.

      Higher Self: And still writing the most wonderful, glorious music. Unfortunately for you, it is higher-dimensional music that can't really be presented in your physical world, but if anything it is even more wonderful than that which you already know. And you will be able to hear it at some later time, either when you leave the physical level, or perhaps when you physical world takes that step in evolution that some call ascension. But I can tell you, Ludwig is making quite a sensation in some of the higher realms with his music in which he shares his great love with everyone.

      Michael: Tell him I hope to meet him one day.

      Higher Self: You will, indeed. It won't be the first time your paths have crossed. In the end, after all the to-ing and fro-ing of incarnations is over, it will turn out that we all know a great many more people than we imagined we would. It shouldn't be surprising to find out that those people we feel closest to, or whose work we have the most intense interest in, will turn out to be people we have known for a very long time, whose paths have crossed with our own time and time again through the aeons. It should not surprise you to know that you have a great many musical friends in the universe, and you will meet again and work together once more after this current time of separation.

      Michael: I almost gave you words slightly different from what you just said. And I stopped and had to focus on spirit again, ask it to come more fully into me, to be guided back to channelling your true thoughts and words.

      Higher Self: Yes, I know. There is nothing to worry about; you did the right thing.

      Michael: I almost had you say that Beethoven was a close friend of mine in stronger terms than you said, and had to stop and ask myself whether my own wishful thinking, from my own mind, was getting in the way and masquerading as your words.

      Higher Self: It is okay. This is a very easy mistake to make, and as long as you are alert to it and pull yourself up when you become aware of it, you will handle it all right. And of course you should bear in mind that there may be occasions when you do this and don't realize it, and do write down words that are not purely from me. You have to realize that channelling, however pure and honest, always has at least something of this hazard, and that is why no channelled information should ever be taken as infallible, like some people take scriptures. (For that matter, scriptures are either purely human writings, or they are channelled - but whichever it is, they are subject to the same thing, too.)

      Michael: Yes, that's why I have little sympathy in general for religions based on a book of some kind.

      Higher Self: But of course such writings may contain much wisdom and insight, if they are read with this consideration in mind, and with a critical but open mind.
      Anyway, although I can't promise that everything you write in your dialogues under my name is absolutely pure, I can tell you that, on the whole, you tune into me reasonably well, and manage to filter out most of what would be grossly wrong; what slips through is not likely to be of any major concern.

      Michael: Unless of course that statement itself is one of the grossly wrong ones!

      Higher Self: [LAUGHS.] Touché! Of course. But your saying that in itself indicates a healthily critical mind.


      Michael: I can't stay long now. I want to listen to New Dimensions on the A.B.C. in 35 minutes or so, at 5 past midnight. It's a kind of New-Age program, featuring an interview with some New-Age-oriented person. Sometimes it interests me, and sometimes it doesn't, but I usually like to tune in and see what it's like.

      Higher Self: That's perfectly fine. I'm just glad you felt free to drop in for a while, even though time is limited. As you know, I encourage you to be free to drop in casually, even for a short time. I don't want you to think a dialogue is such a deep serious thing that it can only be embarked upon when you have hours and hours of unbroken time ahead of you.

      Michael: And my mother just called while I was in the middle of writing this dialogue and I had to break off for a couple of minutes. She just rang to tell me that I could come to stay the night if I wanted to. I'm playing at the Church of Antioch in the morning, and I don't like driving all that distance (30 or 40 miles) so early in the morning when I'm likely still to be tired. I had suggested to my mother earlier it would be nice if I could come to her the previous night and spend the night there, but it wasn't possible because she was having visitors that night. Well, she was just ringing to say they had just left and I could come on if I wanted to. I will do that after I've finished this dialogue. (I will probably listen to New Dimensions while I get ready to go.)

      Higher Self: Anyway, does anything special bring you here now? Or did you just feel like a chat with me?

      Michael: Oh, I don't know. A bit of both of those. I just went out now to buy something I needed, and was struck by how tonight is full of the spirit of summer. It's a very recognizable feeling, and it seemed to be everywhere. While driving to the all-night service station, I noticed that a new café in Healesville called "The Bodhi Tree" was open, and I decided to stop there for something to eat and perhaps some iced coffee. (I had been considering buying something to eat at the service station as well as the toilet paper I needed to buy.) I had met the owner, Firak, a few times before: for months he has been working there preparing things, and I sometimes met him if I walked along the footpath at times when he was there, and chatted with him occasionally. I guess I was curious to find out what sort of food he served, and am always interested to check out anything new that happens along in Healesville, which is rather small and gets a bit predictable at times. Although I must say that I should soon be able to have my fridge working (having at last completed my move from Trumper St.), so I won't need to rely so much on take-away food (or sit in and eat food), but it's always nice to do that for a change. (Yes, I've got most of my stuff here, except for some things still in storage - but it's so crowded and chaotic yet that I still haven't got around to moving my fridge into the kitchen and starting it going.)
      Anyway, I sat down and had a focaccio, plus a complementary sample of curry, followed by iced coffee, and I talked with Firak a little. I was already noticing the spirit of summer: the warm air, insects hovering around lights, people out and about late at night, and so on. The stars are bright when you're away from the lights, and Venus was fairly bright in the western sky; the moon isn't up yet, but it will probably be fairly bright, even though I expect it will be far from full. (I don't remember what phase it's in now, but it might be almost half-full and waning, or possibly even less than half.)
      I went on to the service station and got the toilet paper, plus an ice-cream (a very summery thing to have), and I could still feel the spirit of summer, somehow.

      Higher Self: Indeed, it is a most recognizable phenomenon. I'm glad you are still able to be aware of these things.

      Michael: Well, I guess I'm glad too; although I must say I find it very difficult these days to believe in anything spiritual, and seeing a phenomenon like that as somehow spiritual rather than purely as a physical, material phenomenon, seems artificial and unconvincing, somehow.

      Higher Self: Maybe it does seem that often; but still, you keep thinking of it in those terms, which is a very good sign. You won't go too far astray if you just keep that connection, and don't let it slip away.

      Michael: I'm sure you understand why I have written few dialogues recently, and why I still feel it's possible I could just write two or three now, then fall into silence again. I think without other people to interact with, it's very difficult to keep a sense of spirit.

      Higher Self: Indeed it is; but you manage to, even if it is tenuous at times. It is not an easy path you are following; you are not taking convenient short-cuts such as conformist religions with their pre-digested thinking. It is more difficult in the short term, and you do seem to lack what many of the other people have - but refusing to bow down to conformist thinking, refusing to accept dogmas on outside authority, will in the end yield the most progress along the spiritual path.
      The way you are doing it isn't easy, but all the same you manage to keep a basic awareness of spirit, even if it seems to be dormant at times. You wouldn't be writing this dialogue now if you didn't manage to keep this awareness, and wouldn't have written our dialogue of a week ago. Since your circumstances largely deny you of other people of compatible spiritual outlook to associate with at the present time, such dialogues are a very valuable way of keeping that feeling of spirit alive, of reminding yourself of the wonderful hopes you know reside within you.
      Don't lose heart, my friend. You are in less danger of losing that awareness of spirit than you think, and things will change sooner or later: you will find other people once again with whom you can share your feelings, just as you did in the early and mid 1990s, when you became aware of the ascension phenomenon and attended channelling, and had people to talk about these new ideas with.

      Michael: I think I just wanted to talk about that feeling of the spirit of summer with you. I don't have anyone to talk about things of that sort with, and it may seem like the desperate action of a pathetic little boy to have an imaginary dialogue with an invisible companion so I can share some idea in that fashion, if I lack a real-life person to share it with; but at the same time I do have this feeling that if I can share it with someone, even if only an invisible companion such as you (however little-boyish it might seem), I can somehow anchor that spiritual feeling within me more firmly. If I just talk about it, even in a dialogue with myself, so to speak, I somehow feel it will serve to remind me of the things of spirit more often, keep that sense of spirit alive.

      Higher Self: Indeed, you are right; it will do that, and I would encourage you to do this as often as you please, if it is the only way to keep such feelings alive and in your mind. And I wouldn't worry about how "little-boyish" it seems. While I wouldn't want to suggest that people at large become childish in the sense of immature and ignorant of things, I might point out that it would do your world a great deal of good if people did become more child-like in some resepcts - such as retaning that sense of magic and wonder, keeping the imagination active, being less subject to conventional conformist "adult" ideas, being creative and spontaneous. To my mind, the "little-boyish" aspect of what you've done tonight is like that rather than like the immature side of being childish that I don't advocate (although even so it would be a lot less harmful than many of the "adult" ways of thinking that are current in your society).

      Michael: Yes; well, thank you. I've nearly run out of time (it's midnight now), and my mind is already starting to focus on other things. Not only the program (which I could miss if I got involved enough in this dialogue), but also a few things I have to do before setting out in the early hours of the morning for my mother's. She'll be asleep, of course - but I don't want to arrive there too late.

      Higher Self: I will let you go now, my friend. Thank you for your brief but delightful visit.

      Michael: That does sound like we belong to a little mutual admiration society.

      Higher Self: I think things would be wrong if we didn't have favourable feelings towards each other. It's when people are separated from their Higher Selves that they get into trouble and start doing antisocial or destructive things. No-one in tune with their Higher Selves would do anything of that sort.

      Michael: Okay. Good night then, Higher Self. (And do let me know if you can think up a better way for me to address you than that.)

      Higher Self: That is quite fine with me. Good night for now - and I will look forward to our next meeting.


[a] Wednesday, 21 April, 2004 - "Hallo, my Higher Self.":
      I think lame expressions such as this typify the reasons why, in the very next dialogue, I abandoned the label "Higher Self" in favour of "Spirit" - even though the latter does take me one step closer to claiming to be having a dialogue with God.
      Taking that closer step is something that bothered me slightly at the time I started using the label "Spirit" on 3 October, 2001, and it is probably the main reason why, beginning with 9 December, 2000, I used the label "Higher Self" for two dialogues instead of using "Spirit" straight away - which I think was something I at least thought about at the time.
      But, as my concept of who or what God is has changed, and moved steadily further away from orthodoxy, I am not quite so uneasy about it now. Even if I were still writing dialogues now, though, I would remain with "Spirit", and do not feel ready to use the term "God" openly, as Neale Donald Walsch does in his Conversations with God books.
      Possibly his use of the "God" name would also deter me, since I wouldn't want to give even the appearance of copying the sort of thing he has done - although Walsch himself insists that anyone can have a conversation with God, and in various books he in fact urges them to do so, and disclaims any special status for himself whatsoever.
      Another factor that might deter me from using the name "God" is that the word still carries a significant amount of unwelcome religious baggage for me, which I do not appear to have jettisoned quite as much as Walsch has apparently been able to do.
      Maybe one day I will have a dialogue with God - and call him/her/it "God". As I look over the entire overall course of the dialogues I began years before I even knew of Walsch's books, I can see that God is the ultimate destination it is veering towards. [

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This page created on Sunday, 17 December, 2000;
annotations added or amended, or links to other pages added,
    on occasions up to Wednesday, 21 April, 2004.